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08
Jul

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The soul, like the moon
is new and always new again
and I have seen the ocean
continuously creating.
Since I washed my mind
and my body, I too,
am new, each moment new.
My teacher told me one thing:
Live in the soul.
When that was so,
I began to go naked and dance.
~Lalla

Letting go. Not so easy. I don’t think any one of us ever bargains for just how hard it will be.

At some point in our lives, each one of us guards an unresolved “secret,” an issue that we delude ourselves into believing is entirely unique to us, and rather than seek counsel, share or speak aloud even in the privacy of our own consciousness, we bury it, and as a result, it perpetuates, it morphs like a chia pet on miracle grow, it mutates … The “secret,” which more often than not, is really just a construct of the doubting mind, an outward projection of what we ourselves need to “see,” acknowledge and integrate, literally becomes the monster that ate Tokyo. Now as cool as Godzilla is to watch on the big screen, tell me the truth … you really want that dude knocking around in your head?



We wonder to ourselves, how could THIS ever change? In spite of the many wonderful things that outwardly appear to be happening our lives, and in fact, often ARE happening, this thing … it keeps gnawing away at our good spirits, sapping our reserves and sucking us into the unproductive vortex of endless obsessing.


Until you suddenly discover that you do have the power to completely alter your reality– for the better.

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25
Feb

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It seems a perfect night with the full moon and the first mercury retrograde of 2013 to finally pay tribute to what has already been a truly brilliant start to this new year. Why perfect on the second day of mercury retrograde? Because when mercury goes in reverse, so can we. We have another opportunity to return to what has come before, to revisit and review, and on this full moon eve, the seeds we have planted on the new moon allegedly wax full, like the moon itself, coming closer to fruition tonight. It’s also a perfect night to let fly your deepest desires and truths. Tonight is that night for me. Time has accelerated and is going faster than I ever thought possible. And I’m not sure I like it so much. Every day, I am more and more aware of my mortality. It seems that just as we become mature enough to start to enjoy life, we become acutely conscious of how very ephemeral it is. Hopefully, we learn to appreciate each moment and make the most of all we experience to honor this brief stay on earth before we depart, to live in gratitude as often as we can.

And in that spirit, I was very grateful to be asked to grace the cover of American Fitness in January and share the feature “Jennifer Helps You to Tap Into Your Waking Energy.” Immediately after, the LA Times featured my Yin Yoga clip from Waking Energy, and then to top it all off, my Waking Energy practice clip premiered on Pilates Anytime.

All told, so far, it’s been an amazing year, and it’s only just begun. Each day a new opportunity to awaken new vistas both inside and out in the world. In closing, the title of my blog tonight is “It’s About Time,” and I’m sure by now, you’ve figured out that it’s a double-entendre. It’s about time that we all wake up, and it’s about time that the year of the Divine Feminine has finally arrived– lucky “13″ when everyone on the planet is given the chance to embrace yourself, to know yourself, to move into a higher consciousness, to appreciate the life we have and make the most of it, in service to ourselves and others.

“It is the Moon who does the incarnating, just as the mother gives birth to the child.  This Virgo Full Moon helps us become aware of what our soul is here on Earth to incarnate. We’ve been at this for a while now.  Do you recognize what it is you’re called to do?  The first step is to become conscious, to Know Yourself!  Just that is a big step…” Cathy Pagano


What better way to say YES to this opening than with Waking Energy … what better way to return to yourself, to truly get to know yourself perhaps for the very first time than by waking up the energy and beauty that lives inside you?

I think it’s about time you do …

Happy Full Moon and Happy, Lucky 2013!

Jennifer

18
Dec

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“According to Vedanta, there are only two signs of enlightenment, just two indications that a transformation is taking place within you toward a higher consciousness. The first sign is that you stop worrying. Things don’t bother you anymore. You become light-hearted and full of joy. The second sign is that you encounter more and more meaningful coincidences in your life, more and more synchronicities. And this accelerates to the point where you actually experience the miraculous”
~Deepak Chopra, Synchrodestiny

This Winter Solstice, 2012 is unlike any other before or after it in our lifetime.

12.12.12 marks the opening of the portal through which destiny beckons us to spring forth. We are being asked to cross the bridge from darkness— from old-outmoded, inhibiting, unconscious behaviors, from FEAR to light- to the creation of a new path, a new reality, a new world where LOVE reigns supreme and each one of us embraces the universal truth that we are ONE.

From 12.12.12 until 12.21.12, you are being offered perhaps the greatest gift you will ever know- the chance to manifest miracles. The stars are aligned and at the ready, waiting for you to say “YES!” Now is the time to ask yourself the question: Do you want to reach higher heights in your life, live more fully, find the courage to open your heart and vibrate at a higher level of consciousness? This portal of 12.12.12 is a gift that is based on individual participation. It is an experience that each individual must now ask and intend for. And each and every one of us must now make the effort to learn how to live in the new paradigm. If we want to go where only Love can exist, we must learn how to become Love.
The universe is conspiring to support you on this magic carpet ride into a bright and blessed future, where you will come to know your power, your light, your divinity. Will you spread your wings and take the ride? Will you embody your soul’s purpose and become a manifestor of the miracles you deeply and instinctively know await you? Will you let yourself believe that your intention and action are one and the same and that anything you truly wish for is possible?

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Here in San Diego, my childhood love of owls was rekindled by a sacred visit from a native barn owl this Fall. I was deep inside a meditation and I felt a strong pull to my left. I opened my eyes to see this magnificent and awe-inspiring beauty on the top of the morning glory wall behind my house fully illuminated by the full moon, looking directly at me it seemed. I sat there for what felt like an eternity, locked in his Strigine (that means all-things OWL) embrace.

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Since his sighting, I have been utterly and completely enthralled once again by my totem animal, and can’t get enough of their grace, wisdom and power. They embody so many of the qualities I prize so highly: kindness, generosity, compassion, authenticity, loyalty, creativity, independence, beauty, spontaneity, and passion. Each time I see an image of one, or am lucky enough to experience a real-life “visit,” my heart sings. This Winter Solstice is our opportunity to BE the owl, to embrace our highest selves. Join me in spirit on this magic flight and soar into the heavens while keeping your feet firmly rooted to the earth to become the very vessel for change and new growth in your life and in the lives of each person you meet. 

Flight of a Snowy Owl

31
Aug

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There are  moments in life when we are lucky enough to meet the secret places inside our own psyches, our own souls where hidden reserves of power and courage have seemed to lay in wait for just the right time.

From my earliest memory, I have been afraid of heights. At age 14, the chance of a lifetime- to go up to the top of the Eiffel Tower, and I had to be dragged onto the elevator by a best friend who swore to me I would live with the regret of missing out for the rest of my life. So I went, and while everyone else was “oooolah lah-ing” about the “La Vue Fantastique,” I felt like I was meeting my maker early. Once, while attempting to climb a fire tower in the Adirondacks with an old flame, I may have made it up to the second landing, (the equivalent of a second story building) and already my knees were starting to buckle and I felt a panic attack coming on.

Last week, we drove to the famed Sunset Cliffs where we were going to start shooting new footage. Little did I know that in order to get to our location, I would actually have to scale one of them. And when I say cliffs, we’re not talking little hills. The photographer looked at me, knowing full well about my fear, but started to scramble down the cliff as if he didn’t. In response to my choice words of shock and anger, the most demure of which went something like this, “How the _____ could you do this to me?!” He gave me one confident, knowing smile, clearly unconcerned that this might very well be the end of our relationship, and continued down on his merry way toward the beach. I started protesting loudly and calling after him, chastising him for bringing me to this place where I would have to actually rapelle backwards with a rope, an actual ROPE! to get down. Yeah. Right.

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31
Jul

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“Follow your bliss.
If you do follow your bliss,
you put yourself on a kind of track
that has been there all the while waiting for you,
and the life you ought to be living
is the one you are living.
When you can see that,
you begin to meet people
who are in the field of your bliss,
and they open the doors to you.
I say, follow your bliss and don’t be afraid,
and doors will open
where you didn’t know they were going to be.
If you follow your bliss,
doors will open for you that wouldn’t have opened for anyone else.”
― Joseph Campbell

31
May

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Over the course of the past 6 and a half years that I have lived in Philadelphia, (how and why that happened I may never know ..) I have not missed a single opportunity to stop and literally smell the roses. I would approach them and beckon them to me, cradle them gently in my hands and deeply inhale their scent with my entire being, a veritable world of intoxicating bliss that seemed to radically alter every cell in my body, in an instant. Each and every time, no matter what my mental state, my reality shifted dramatically, and I was transported.

Every now and again, I would be in too much of a rush to get to the nectar of the rose, and I would feel the wrath of the thorns on its stem, almost warning me to go slower, to savor the moment before I inhaled its transportive secret, almost as if to tell me that I needed to be more patient, more appreciative, more delicate. Even with the prick of the thorn, and the errant drop of bright red blood on my finger, I delighted in the reward, the almost unfathomable world of pleasure that I drowned in, and shockingly, all in that singular, tiny, divine unfolding of color and billowing, all encompassing profusion of scent. I would often think, “How was it possible that such a miracle- this potent and ethereal world of pleasure could exist in such a small blossom?”

Every rose is different, uniquely beautiful in its own way — the color and shape of its petals, and the subtlety of its special floral pheromones. Tea roses, American Beauty Roses, Crimson Queens, Midas Touch Roses, Sunflare Floribundas, Tropicanas, White Meidilands, too many to name.  In the 4th Street Garden near my once-upon-a-time, magical little jewelry box of a home, there is a vast variety of beauties, just waiting to be inhaled and loved. They are everywhere, thanks to Benjamin Franklin, who had a love for these gorgeous flowers and planted them strategically throughout the old part of town to frame the walkways as a respite from the din and bustle of the city.

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23
Jan

‎”Accomplish what is in your heart!”

Happy, Prosperous New Year of The Water Dragon~ May this year be one of Great Blessings, Awakenings & Miracles~

Powerful energies are swirling around in the universe now- can you feel it? Change is happening, like water rushing over river rocks, fluid and inevitable.

Believe in yourself. Believe that anything is possible. Say YES to yourself. Say YES to your intentions, say YES and welcome it all!

May it be so~!

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15
Jan

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This morning I had a dream that I was sledding down the side of a snow-covered hill on my black Tumi backpack, and suddenly, a red-tailed hawk flew down from the sky, and came to light on my left arm. It was so unbelievable. I was so amazed. I can still feel my lips parted in awe that such a magical, spirit, such a wild, solitary, elusive bird had chosen to come to me in such a bold act of intimacy.

It was as if freedom itself had decided to come to me. And not only did it just float there on my arm, but it softly sank his beautiful talons into my flesh, gently holding on, knowing exactly how hard to press, accepting my warm breath on his beak. To see if it was real, I gently went to stroke his head, and he let me and spread his gorgeous wings of white and red in appreciation that I had chosen to reciprocate his intimate gesture with one of my own.

Even now, the feeling of lightness and warmth as big as the sky above, spreads across my chest, from deep within my heart center to his, this magnificent hawk; we were connected, united, and FREE!  What a joy, what a gift that dream was! I am still celebrating it … A message from above. I am still aglow from that moment when my eyes caught him and tracked his trajectory, incredulous that he was coming toward me –when I saw his wings beating in an upward draw, slowing his descent, as he floated down from the ethers, and chose me as his landing pad, a confidant to whom he could silently transmit the message: “Believe it. You are FREE.”

Trial by fire. Oh, and it is.

When I first found this image, I wanted to kiss the earth that I had located a visual depiction that managed to encapsulate the very feeling I have had over the past month. I feel like a stuntwoman walking away from a well-played crash scene, except the “scene” isn’t staged. It’s real. Never before has this conscious awareness of contrast between incarceration and liberty been as stark, as naked as it has been for me of late. And when I say this contrast- I am referring to the battle of black vs. white, shadow vs. sun that comes to dominate the grand stage of the mind. The duel to the death that happens when we entrap ourselves in the stories that we ourselves author, when we imprison ourselves in the cells we construct, when we fashion the very shackles that keep our feet well-fettered.

Rumi said it so well,  “You were born with wings. Why prefer to crawl through life?”

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31
Dec

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Tonight is New Year’s Eve, 2011, and instead of noise makers and balloons, champagne and confetti, my heart is hurting in a way that it hasn’t since I was a child.

I have been crying since last night at 9:30pm when I held Mirabelle on my lap for the last time sitting here on my couch in the very spot where we were 24 hours ago. Tonight is the last night of 2011, and I am practicing the art of letting go. Or rather, I am perfecting the art of attachment, taking attachment and the inherent, inevitable suffering that results to a whole new level.  Folks, tonight, through the murky wall of my tears, that makes the lights from the Christmas tree look like city street lights through a cab’s rear window on a rainy night, I’m not sure if there are other Buddhists out there as bad as I am. People who profess to practice non-attachment like me and in moments like these, just can’t. I honestly don’t begin to know how to rise above the deep ache in my heart that rises up inside me and wraps around my throat like a boa. I miss her. And I miss her more than I have missed most ex-boyfriends.

Mirabelle means “lovely and wondrous” in Latin, and how can I explain? She was both of those things and so much more. Charles named her, and it’s hard to articulate just how she perfectly she embodied her name. Her presence was like a bell-she spoke and her little cat voice was like the tinkling of a beautiful chime. Her eyes and her voice together were music. Her crazy patchwork coat with one leg that looked like a sweet orange witch’s stocking, and the other, gray half of her harlequin coat with random paintbrush strokes of white and orange, were the outer markings that represented her perfect unpredictability, her joyful demands to play at all times, and her fearless exploration of the world. She scaled 50 foot trees in seconds flat and gave the neighborhood squirrels a run for their money. She refused to come inside until she was good and ready. The charming white on her neck and belly were the one consistent swath of fur on her body, and she loved to have it stroked endlessly. Before Mirabelle, I had never had this exact experience of knowing how my touch inspired the most palpable bliss in another being, and her every movement was a silent communication, an acknowledgment, an appreciation that made me smile and inspired joy.  One of her most wonderful talents was flipping her body upside down on the couch, her favorite place to assume every conceivable cat position there was– the poster child for the Kama Sutra of a cat in repose. Her incredible, special beauty. That face. Beyond. Everything about her endeared her to me in the deepest way. She was, she is a Mirabelle, a lovely wonder.

She was abandoned in late July in the middle of a back alley at Charles’ building. A car drove into the middle of the block, and just dumped her out right there. He watched as two small faces, pressed up against the glass of the back window, clearly a family– drive away. He happened to be outside at the time and watched the whole thing happen, incredulous that people would leave an innocent animal like that to fend for itself. Without a moment’s hesitation, he walked up quietly to her, cat whisperer that he is, held out his hand, and she was ours.

Mirabelle is unlike any other being I have ever encountered. She is always alive with brilliant, searching intellect, her eyes wide and sparkling, seeing all and missing nothing. Nothing escapes her. She is at one with every nuance, every subtle scent, every sound that goes undetected by human ears, already somehow ahead of it, and running it down. She speaks, she turns on faucets, she turns on lights, she fetches like a dog. She loves better than most any person I’ve ever met.

And again, I have to write, what a beauty. What a breathtaking, regal little beauty. Captivating. Arresting. Irresistible.  And for some reason, some unresolved childhood traumas, some unresolved losses, my body rebelled against this other-worldly, magical little sprite and my histamines waged war, telling my nervous system that she was to be feared … or rather, that loving her was to be feared. I saw a wonderful and talented allergist four times,  I took prescription asthma drugs, I went to extreme lengths, suffered terrific frustration from my impeded breathing that collided with my crazy love for her.

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24
Nov

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Today, I was in the moment. All day. From the minute I opened my eyes, to this moment now.

And  I realized something very important.  In order to be in the moment, one must surrender.  And the minute one surrenders, one can be awash in one of life’s most precious and beautiful states: gratitude.

Even though I have felt gratitude at many different times in my life, I can honestly say that today was the first time I truly understood and lived this connection, that pristine place on the mountain top,  the place one must climb long and hard to come to … that place where surrender and gratitude meet and smile knowingly at one another like two old, long-lost friends. Today,  I stepped into my life the way a visitor would step off of the train and onto the platform of a place he had always longed to visit, a place where he knew he was destined one day to arrive.

My eyes took in every detail, my senses drank in every ambient gift- the sights and scents of the day, the intense warmth of the sun on my cat’s back as she found the most perfect spot on the kitchen floor, the intoxicating smell of the turkey in the oven just starting to brown, the herbs, thyme, rosemary, sage and butter melting together to produce a perfume that sent me floating above, looking down on this room, flooded with sunlight and simple joy.

And then the love I felt overflowing the banks of my heart for the man I call my best friend-silently acknowledging all of the qualities I cherish about him, his incredible kindness, generosity, humor, insight, wisdom, creativity, artistry, intelligence, affection, integrity … where we started and how far we have come … the challenges we faced down and worked together to vanquish, the moments when I wanted to run, and the fact that I was still there, standing there with such calm in my heart, so much breath and space inside. All of it penetrated my consciousness with a kind of clarity and power I had never experienced in just this same way before.  It was for me, all day, the only truth that mattered- what I saw in my immediate surroundings, what I felt, what I breathed, what I literally inhaled. Each and every thing that came into my sphere, I treasured. The whisk that fell out of the pie crust batter not once, but twice, splattering all over the rug and the floor and a cabinet or two, something that would have annoyed me somewhere inside on another day, was nothing, was a moment where I could show my partner compassion, understanding and encouragement instead. It was a moment today that made me smile, and say to myself, “I am here. I am alive and I am with this person who I love more than I have ever loved before, and I am grateful. I am more grateful than I can ever remember.”

And then I stopped and sort of observed myself in wonder. This feeling of gratitude was so powerful, so immense, that it made me feel like I wanted to reach out to each and everyone I knew and send them love and wishes for joy and for them to feel this kind of simple contentment. It is in my nature to want to give to others, so reaching out to people to spread joy is not a foreign concept. But this feeling I had today was special, because it is also in my nature to move- I am someone whose mind never shuts off and who has an incredibly difficult time sitting still long enough to give myself many of the calming gifts I know I can give to others.  I know how hard it is to turn off the mind, and today,  I was a bird who learned to fly.  Today, my ‘monkey mind’ took a vacation because two months ago, I made a resolution to take a break– To step off of the train I was on, a train that I knew was heading in the wrong direction.  And when I made the decision to get off of that rough train, the train that I will now name “control, frustration and hopelessness …” I let go. I surrendered to my own true nature, and I found a kind of deep peace that I cannot remember feeling in just this way ever before. Why? Because who I am today is a product of the hard-won lessons of someone who took a few too many bad train rides and finally learned when to get off, when to step down onto the platform and think for a while about which one she would get on next, but not a moment before she was good and ready.

Today my busy brain stopped, because I surrendered yet again. I made the conscious choice to do everything in my power to face myself in the direction of what I wish to manifest and then let  g o … No agenda, just flow. No plan, just honoring the pulse inside and appreciating everything just as it was outside, without trying to change a thing. Surrender. Quiet. Stillness. Observation. Awareness. Consciousness. Simplicity. Breath.

Today, I let go and I let God and I got the reward. I felt so grateful for exactly what is—hoping for what will be, yes, of course, I am only human, but today, I felt more grateful than I ever have before, because I was in the moment. I was in the moment where I was able to consciously appreciate each and everything. My mind was not fixated on future or past, on what I cannot control, no matter how hard I try.

I was here. Fully opened and surrrendered to what was, to what is.

Today I surrendered. I opened my hands to the universe, and together, the universe and my highest self answered with this one word:

“Gratitude.”